Let’s get this straight: there are a lot of really cool things to do here. Lots of history (as long as you consider “history” as being 300 years old — this ain’t Europe!), art, gourmet food, and just all around culture. But who wants to talk about the positives? Here’s a small list of what I consider “Underwhelming Boston.”
1. THE WORLD TRADE CENTER — Speaking of “this ain’t Europe,” “this ain’t New York!” It’s a building. Woo! I’m sure there’s stuff that goes on in there. Business-y stuff. Stuff Occupy Wall St. despises.
2. The site of the Boston Tea Party — ask any 3rd grader what they know about Boston. If they’re not an idiot, they might say Boston Tea Party! Taxation without representation! Boston Cream Pie! Ah yes, one of the most well-known happenings here (more or less well-known than THE MASSACRE???) Alas, here is what lies there:
Did you know they had already invented cranes by 1773? Part of INTERESTING Boston might be the Children’s Museum in the background (check out that giant milk bottle.)
3. The Paul Revere House — One if by land, two if by sea, three if by air, four if by underground (those Brits were all CHUDs, weren’t they?) The house he lived in during that fateful night he rode to the Old North Church (that’s a cool one) is pretty shitty. In fact he got richer and moved to a nicer house which doesn’t exist anymore. This house was turned into a boarding house. So basically nothing to give you insight into his life even exists there. It is literally just an old house with weird plastic food and not even that much information (“Revere may have slept in this room.”) The worst part is you have to pay $3 to get in!
So, when you do come to visit, feel free to mark these off your agenda.